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October 3, There are a few factors to consider that could explain your master's behavior. First, how much time did you spend getting to know him before he snapped a collar around your neck? If you don't know anything about each other before hand, chances are it's not going to work out well. Did he have other slaves? Was this by chance in gor?

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You should know your limits, but if you're unwilling to explore any of the darker sides of this dynamic, perhaps this is a poor choice for you. Good luck! I found a good sybs by Mistress Constance.

If you can't control yourself, your Dom will be constantly trying to keep you in line with no help from you. It doesn't work that way.

Depending on their contract and if the slave is willing to not be monogamous, a slave may be traded by the master, facilitated by sex club events, personals in BDSM interest magazines or internet based social networks. Each Dom will want to find someone with the raw material he or she is looking for and then train that person to fit anr standards.

In all images, the women are standing in a typical slave posture with hands folded at the masterd. If it's what you like too, give them a shot.

You have find someone that has similar interests and values as you, and not just as it relates to BDSM. It's important to remember that in a BDSM relationship, most of you time is just going to be spent being vanilla.

Things like jobs, family, kids, housework, errands, and bills don't disappear so as to kindly allow you the freedom to do nothing but lock yourself in the bedroom and play with chains and whips all day. What Masters Look for in Subs Since yesterday I did a post on what I look for in a dominantit seemed only fair to do some research into what folks on the interwebs are looking for in a sub. But to them, you are simply property that they don't need to tend to much at all.

They will disappoint you. Raven Shadowborne also points out that necessary qualities in a sub are ability to control yourself and obedience.

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What do actual Masters and Mistresses look for in subs? A slave could also be a masochist or bottombut this is not always the case.

Typically outlined are clear expectations of whether the couple will be monogamous or polyamorousand if there would be permission or expectation of mastees interaction with other people. Such a collar may maaters a piece of neckwearor may be a bracelet or other piece of jewelry that symbolizes slave status. A slave who has satisfied the duration of the negotiated time of service is expected to be released, unless a new duration of service is negotiated.

They will have off days. We need to be understanding that sometimes our Perfect Man or Woman will not be so perfect after all.

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Terminology[ edit ] Model dressed as the fictional slave-girl Kajira from John Norman 's Gor novels The term "slave" is used rather than "sex slave" because sex is not a necessary component of consensual slavery. The sexual aspect could be conventionaland not necessarily BDSM. I've had novice submissives tell maaters that their limits were absolutely no pain, absolutely no bondage, absolutely nothing at all in a public setting where anyone an might ever Birmingham Alabama granny sex that they were submissive, and that, in return for this carte blanche, they would be willing to "help out" with the housework.

If I were looking for a sub, I wouldn't actually start looking for obedience or submission right away.

Master/slave (bdsm)

Although such contracts are not enforceable in the ways legal contracts are, they can be useful for defining in written form the limits of the arrangement between the atories, and for documenting the consensuality of the relationships sube define between them. A slave may at any time withdraw consent to the relationship, effectively nullifying the slave relationship.

Some Masters adopt a holistic approach to the maintenance and sub development of their slave by using such models as Maslow's hierarchy of needs. Find out what they like.

The types of activities that the slave may be expected to perform are usually defined mzsters advance and sometimes spelled out in a slave contracta Weird and unusual seeks same with social indications and value but without any real legal value that outlines the desires, limits, and expectations of the parties.

Nature of the relationship[ edit ] A mistress and her male slave perform for the audience at a sex show in Austria. Also, a sub should not be completely self-absorbed. She seems to suffer from the same problems a lot of new subs do on the internet: people writing her, wanting to be in a relationship with her before they really know her, talking only about BDSM. You might get to serve them pretend food or get beaten once in awhile.

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In BDSM, a slave is a specific type of submissive. Masgers objective is to change the slave's behavior in a manner that is pleasing to the Master or Mistress, for example to train the slave to follow a set of rules or commands that the Master or Mistress has provided.

I think as a sub learns and grows, hard limits may gradually become soft limits and then eventually not limits at all. If you're not a match, keep on looking.